Saturday 4 December 2010

8 MAIN REASONS FOR EVERYONE'S UNHAPPINESS.

    If you are a teenager, like myself, and you spend way too much time on Facebook , again like myself, you will find all of these pages telling us that "I'm fine" is one of the biggest lies ever. Some people agree, and some disagree. However, I strongly agree with this statement. How many times have you felt so awful, irritated, annoyed, bothered, or disturbed? How many times have you felt that way, and just didn't want to tell people what was bothering you. Maybe, you were waiting for that special person to ask you what was going on. How many times have you went around school/work with the fakest smile ever, that only the closest people to you realized that it's fake?
    Perhaps it is your health,  little money, or the respect that you are not getting is what is making you depressed. With so many problems twiddling and swirling around us, is the aspect of happiness a mere dream, an unachievable, undoable  goal?
    Every person has his own reasons for being unhappy, but there are some MAIN reasons that make almost everyone unhappy.
    Now.. If you confront the reasons for your unhappiness, you can know how to solve them and you will be able to spread the sunny rays of happiness over your life.
    I've once read that happiness is not caused by what happens to us, but by HOW we interpret what happens to us.  And that, is oh so true.
    "In 2010's eve, I was SO excited about the new year. Everyone was. I mean, it was the beginning of a new decade.. A new year, everything! I had a little fight with my mother that day, and I lost all kind of hope for the new year. I thought it was going to suck. I BELIEVED it was going to suck. And you know what? I threw the paper of my new year's resolutions. And you also know what? I had the worst year I've ever had in my life. And until now, I don't know why. I don't know why I was so so so depressed and I don't know why I cried almost everyday. I really don't know.
    However, three weeks ago, my uncle passed away, and that was the LAST straw. He was really close to me, and I felt gloomy and downhearted. I wanted to be happy so bad, and so I decided that from the New Year, I am going to be happy! Until I woke up next day to find myself EXCEEDINGLY, TREMENDOUSLY happy. I couldn't stop the happiness, and everyone noticed. And that's when I realized that happiness doesn't just come. We don't sit and wait for happiness. We CHOOSE to be happy, because happiness is nothing but a choice."
    In this post, I will be taking about WHAT makes us unhappy, and in the next one, I'll make sure to talk about how we can solve the issues, or overcome our problems.
  1. LOW SELF ESTEEM.
  2. That is definitely one of the main reasons of unhappiness. When you don't have the faith in your ability to achieve a desired outcome.
    What causes low self esteem?
    Those are two of the main reasons why.
  3. If you were abused as a child, you were given  terrible messages such as "You are worthless!" "You can't be trusted" "You are not going to have a bright future" and so on. Repeating those messages over and over, causes you to internalize these messages  and believe these things about yourself. All of these messages can make you feel like a failure.
  4. Being rejected in school, at work, or by your partner.  This often happens in high schools, or in middle schools, where the person isn't really accepted by his/her friends. Should it be the looks, the character, or maybe HE thinks that HE doesn't fit in, which makes people think that he doesn't.  Usually people who are not accepted in the "IN" groups, are gays, shy people,or ugly people. But there's no thing as ugly people, EVERYONE - and I mean EVERYONE - is beautiful, in one way or another. No one will ever be perfect, and that beautiful girl you see in school, I am pretty sure that she has something that she's ashamed of . That extremely popular guy in school, he too, has something to hide from all of you.
  5. There are too many books, and ways to improve your self esteem, but all of this will not help if YOU DON'T BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!
  6. A RECENT BREAKUP.
  7. So you may have just broken up with whoever you thought was the love of your life, your other half, the cherry to your cake, whatever it was. And you may think that you are ugly, not good enough, and every happy thought is sucked out of your brain. Here's the thing people, if you hadn't cheated or lied to your partner, and he/she broke up with you, then SCREW THEM. Move on, even if you are madly in love with them. They don't deserve someone as good as you, and they don't deserve all of your time and effort - wasting a couple of months with them was enough already, don't you think?
  8. LOSING A LOVED ONE.
  9. I really don't blame you for feeling unhappy, depressed, angry at God, angry at whoever died. But here’s one thing you reallly need to know as well ;  the person who passed away is surely in a better place! You know why? Because you loved him/her. If you loved him/her, it means that he/she was a good person, which also means that he's in a better place.  Maybe if they had lived, they would have suffered with something, lost all of their money, or had a severe medical problem that would have made them very unhappy. See when my uncle passed away, we found out days later, that if he had lived, he would have been paralyzed and he wouldn't have able to do anything but move his eyes.
  10. TAKING THINGS PERSONALLY.
  11. This happens when everyone's problems become YOUR problems. And from there, the unhappinness train is speeding on to Sad Town. Over analyzing the whole situation, the people involved, what you did wrong, and what you SHOULD have done..etc will get you nowhere, trust me.  Don't let this concept soak into your emotional brain!
  12. NOT REALLY SEEING THE WORLD AS IT IS.
  13. It's only a matter of perspective. Yes, the world is cruel. But is the world cruel to you? No. How do I know that? I know that because, you are reading my blog right now, which means that you have internet access that you pay for, or a computer/mobile to use. Others are in the streets just WISHING they could drink clean water, or wishing they would once sleep in a warm place or bed. While you sit at home bitching about how awful you look like. I think you should be grateful for how you look like. You should be grateful for not having a deadly disease. You should be grateful for having food, some money, a bed, and a place to come back home to.
  14. TRYING TO BE JUST LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE.
  15. So you don't want to rock the boat, you want to be on the safe side, you want be to just like everyone else out there, and you want to fit in. Well you know what? Being unique is one of the main keys to self confidence and happiness. It's when we try to hide the very things that make us unique, we become unhappy.
  16. CRITICISM.
  17.  You got criticized by your teacher, or by your mother, or by your friends. This usually lowers your self esteem, and makes you so frustrated. Well you do have the right to be frustrated. But think of that way, WHO ARE THEY TO JUDGE YOU? No one is allowed to judge you but yourself and God, as long as you know that you are NOT doing anything that may affect you or anyone else negatively.  And here's a thing I want you to know, God loves you for whoever you are. And if you DON'T believe in God, then they still don’t have the right to judge you.
    If you like who you are or what you're doing, keep doing it because it makes you happy. This is discussed by the poet Kipling in his poem "IF" . It said : "If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, but make allowance for their doubting too"
  18. YOU ARE IN A FINANCIAL MESS.
  19. You have just lost your job, and you've been working like a machine trying to look for a new one, but you just CAN'T. So you are in a hole, and nobody is going to lift you out but yourself. What are you going to do? First thing you have to do is, quit waiting for some kind of miracle to happen. It's never going to rain money, and you will never be able to shit money, or find a job out of the blue (unless you are in a movie). From this moment, go and search for jobs, dig deeper, and start saving some money! Once you find a job that you like, I guarantee that you will be happy.
    All in all, unhappiness is both self-defined and self-imposed . If YOU want to believe that you are unhappy, then you will be and vice versa.

2 comments:

  1. I don't see Twilight on this list. :P

    ReplyDelete
  2. Drake, I love Twilight, it makes me happy but on the post, I agree with the don't take things peronally thing becuase I've worked in 3 call centers and I always take what the customer says personally which gives me anxiety and makes me depressed, hence why I don't have a job now. Also my friend passed away on June 30th and I think of him every day but he did have a drug problem, he had a stroke a few years back and he went from being a genius to having to live off of disability so I know he's in a better place but it still hurts.

    ReplyDelete